Letters from Alex
by SuckerForDelena
Summary: Spoilers up to 1x12 - "Alex". After the even of that episode, Alex had somehow managed to get Ryan, Shelby and Simon letters. Are they just goodbye or is there some hidden message in them? This story will contain friendship, romance, angst, drama, mystery. R&R!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello everyone!**

 **This is a random idea that popped into my mind. Hope you like this!**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **RPOV**

I woke up at my usual time and went through my routine. As I was getting ready, I let my thoughts wader to Alex. I was angry at her for lying under oath, and for not trusting that I and out whole team did the best we could. We tried everything we could to find if Elias had any partner in crime. But he didn't. There were no proof he did. And had left no stone unturned.

Yet, Alex thought that we were all wrong. I had really hoped that I would be the one to finally get through her. And it worked, just not the way I wanted it to. I wanted Alex to come back to us...to me. But she didn't.

I still believed that she was acting like this because of what she had been through. The way I had reacted after she gave her statement was harsh. I knew that. But I was frustrated that I failed to bring her back.

I sighed knowing, no matter how angry I was, I shouldn't have reacted the way I did. She couldn't help if she believed that there was still a terrorist out there. After all she'd been through, a little paranoia was not unusual.

I left my home, decided that I owed Alex an apology.

* * *

It was a little after eight when I reached the new command centre, the old one being destroyed in the bombing. I didn't go to my office, but instead made my way to Alex's. I was a surprised to see that she was not in yet. Normally, she was the first one in, no matter what.

We were required to be in the office by eight and Alex usually came fifteen minutes before. Therefore, not seeing her here, made me think something was wrong.

I checked the wash room, the near by coffee shop, thinking maybe she had stepped our for sometime, but she was nowhere to be found.

 _Maybe, she's home investigating the terrorist._ I thought as I made my way back home. That was the only explanation I could come up with. She still hadn't given up and was not coming. What else would she be late.

When I reached my office, I made my way to see what assignment I had. As soon as I opened my file, a piece of paper fell out of it. I picked it up and immediately recognised Alex's writing.

Alex wrote me a letter? Couldn't she have called, or messaged or...emailed? Why did she wrote me a letter?

A bad feeling settled in my stomach as I started reading the letter.

 _Ryan,_

 _I regret so many things I've done in my life, but one of my biggest regret in letting you go, when you were in Quantico and then again, when we met at that party Caleb's parent threw. I am sorry. I came back to meet you that day, but on my way back, I bumped into your ex-wife. I wish I hadn't let her words affect me. I wish I could go back and change that day. I wonder how our life would have turned out if I had reacted differently. If I had found you and kissed you, like I wanted to. I am sorry for all the mistake I made, for all the time I pushed you away, for all the time I made assumptions. I am also sorry that I could never brave enough to tell you how I feel about you. I am sorry that I didn't get to tell you how much you mean to me in the time we had. I am so sorry._

 _I don't deserve you, and yet you came to my apartment to explain after I found about you and Natalie. I wish you hadn't. Then you wouldn't have gotten caught up in my mess. I am sorry. I hope you can find her. The one who deserve you. It's too late for me, just find her._

 _Alex_

It felt like she was saying bye to me. What did she meant by _it's too late for me_? Where was she going? Had the day before been so hard on her that she decided to leave?

And she had returned for me that new year? What did Hannah said to her that made her change her mind. And

No, I couldn't let her leave. If that was what she was planning.

I took out my phone and punched in Alex's number, but before I could push the call button, my phone started ringing.

 **Shelby calling**

What was Shelby calling me? I sighed as I answered up the call.

"Hello, Shelby."

"Have you heard from Alex?" Shelby launched,"I called her but she isn't picking up her phone. I called her office phone, and she didn't pick that either." Her voice sounded frantic,"If you've seen her, tell her I swear to God, that I will kill her when I find her. What does she think? Sending me goodbye letters will he-"

"Wait," I interrupted,"She sent you a letter too?"

"Yeah," Shelby answered,"I woke up and when I was leaving, I found this letter in my mailbox. I didn't know who it was from, so I started read it. She sent one to you, too?"

"Yes. I was just going to call her when you called."

"Where are you?" She asked.

"Work." I told her.

"She isn't there yet?" Her voice voice sounding concerned. I was feeling the same. What was Alex doing? Sending everyone goodbye letters? Was she leaving? Where was she going?

"No." I closed my eyes, hoping against hope what she was okay.

"Meet me at her apartment, in ten. I am on my way there." Shelby ordered before hanging up.

I picked up the letter Alex wrote me, my car keys and made my way to Alex's apartment. All the while praying that she was okay.

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 **A/N: That was the first chapter! How was it? Liked it? Did not? Do you think there's some code hidden in this letter? Share your views! The next one will be up in a few hours!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hello everyone!**

 **Sorry for the long wait! Here's the long awaited next chapter!**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **RPOV**

I was at Alex's and the whole place was wiped clean. There was no furniture, no electronic gadget, nothing. It was like no one's ever live there. Shelby and Simon were there with me, and both of their expression copied that of mine - concern.

Alex had sent each of us a letter and they all looked like she was saying goodbye, like these were the last times she'll ever communicate with us.

 _Shelby,_

 _I am sorry. I am sorry I failed to believe in you when I should have. You helped me at every step, even though we still had our issues, and when it was chance to return the favour, I couldn't do it. I am sorry you have to go through all that humiliation because of me. I wish I could turn the clock backward and change it all, but I know I can't. You've been such a great friend to me, and I couldn't return the favour. I acted so selfishly. I was so lost in the chase of the terrorist that I failed to see what it costed to you. How much it pained you. I am so sorry for all the time I broke your trust and caused you pain._

 _My only hope is that you can understand my actions. And find it in your heart to forgive me someday. If we could go back in time, to the start of Quantico and do that all over again, I would've done better this time. But it's too late for me to do that. I wish you solve all your issues._

 _Alex_

"What the hell does she means?" Shelby asked around. Both I and Simon were as confused as she was.

"I don't know. Simon," I turned to him,"She sent you a letter, too. Didn't she? Let's read it, maybe we can find something there."

Simon pulled the letter out of his pocket and held in the center so that we can all read it once again.

 _Hello Simon,_

 _You are such an awesome friend, and helped me so much. You were at my side when it was the hardest, and still when the time came for me to do the same I couldn't. I didn't believe you, when you said there was no terrorist out there. I lied in my statement. I didn't have faith in you. I didn't think that my chase could have been madness and delusion. I accused you of doing something, after all that you did for me. You could have handed me over to the authorities so many times, but you didn't. I am sorry for not putting a tail on you. And then thinking that you hadn't tried everything to find Elias' accomplish._

 _I didn't trust you. I am sorry for that. You are one of the smartest person I've met, and I wish you would help everyone after I left. I wish you all work well together after I am not here. Maybe without me you all can solve your disagreements._

 _Alex_

"I've read it hundred times since I found it this morning," Simon said,"And it looks like a goodbye letter, nothing more."

I sat down on the floor, tired of all this. _What did you want to tell us Alex?_ I asked myself. I stared at the wall in front of me finding it more interesting than anything going on in my life.

My worry about Alex growing with each passing moment. _Why was Alex sending all of us these goodbye letters? Where was she going? Why was she going? Will I ever see again?_

 _Could Alex had been right about another terrorist being out there? Did someone threatened her?_

My mind ran at thousand questions per minute. I just could understand it. Yesterday when I came to this same apartment, it was a mess. And there was nothing left there now. I honestly preferred the mess to this emptiness.

At least then I knew she was here and she was safe, but now there's no trace of her. I don't know how to find her.

I felt Shelby come and sit beside me and turned to look at her.

"The last time I saw her, I told her I hated her. And I did, I still do. But this, I don't want her gone." She confessed.

"Neither do I." I said ruefully. My situation with Alex was the same as Shelby's. The fight we had last night replaying again and again in my head. I told her she was lost, and now she really was.

"Hey, guys!" Simon spoke up and we both looked up,"Well, the letters separately mean nothing, but what if they mean something together?"

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 **A/N: How was it? Liked it? Did not? Do you think there's some code hidden in the letter? Share your views! Can you crack the code? Or the letters are just what they seem?**


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